Reading The Cluez: Maze of Bones
by Vesper One
Summary: Certain Cahills are kidnapped right after Grace's funeral to read a book series called the 39Clues. Agent Cobra, the Head of this, wants them to read it because she was just bored and wanted to spoil everything. The Cahills on the other hand don't want the Clue Hunt or their future spoiled... R&R I know people have done this but I wanted to too and sorry for sucky sumarry. :P -TLM
1. Chapter 1

**My not first fanfic ever! **

**Hahaha. I know, there are a million of these out there but I REALLY wanted to write**

***cough cough* TYPE**

**Something like this.**

**Disclaimer;**

**Me: Nellie! The awesome Au pair!**

**Nellie: Yeah?**

**Me: Disclaimer!**

**Nellie: The LucianMastermind does not own anything.**

Amy and Dan just out of the burning mansion alive. Dan had Saladin in his arms.

"G-grace's mansion..." Amy whispered, tears shining in her eyes. They saw a figure near the house. It was Grace's lawyer. The children ran up to him and saw that he was unconscious. Dan reached into the lawyers jacket and produced a cell phone. They called 911.

The police arrived and said that he would be fine.

"What do we do now?" Amy asked.

"I don't know." Dan wheezed.

"Children, would you-" The cop was interrupted.

"We'll take them." a figure in cloak said.

"Who are you?" the police officer asked.

"I'm a relative of them." it was a woman.

The policeman nodded and got in his car. The three watched them all drive away.

"Which-" Amy never got to finish. The woman had pulled out a dart gun and aimed it at her. Then the woman pulled out a vile.

"Drink this." she said and handed the vile to Amy. "Half of it."

Amy obeyed and she collapsed.

"I'm not drinking that!" Dan exclaimed. The woman repositioned the gun.

"Drink it."

Dan gulped and bent down to pick up the vile. He sniffed it. Skittles. Dan took a small sip and everything turned black. The woman smiled and motioned something in the woods. Two kids came out and thanked the woman for their dirty business.

- - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - -

Ian Kabra saw someone watching them through a cafe window.

"Cafe window, woman with the coat." Ian whispered to Natalie. She turned and saw the woman sipping a cup of coffee, her eyes watching them. Ian turned and saw Irina Spasky.

Natalie still watched the lady in the cafe. The woman stood up and left a tip for the waitress and exited the shop. She walked up to them, her eyes hidened in the shadow of her hat.

"Hello children." she said to them.

"Do you need something?" Ian asked.

"Come with me." she answered then saw Irina.

"Your meeting is cancelled."

The woman lead them to a dark alley corner. Trash cans had flies swarming over them and there was a scrawny cat in the corner. Ian and Natalie immediately knew this was a trap.

The woman smiled and produced a dart gun.

"Did Mummy tell you to get us?" Natalie asked.

"Isabel? I'm not even a Lucian." the lady said and shot both of them.

"Carlos, Alexandra." she snapped. Two figures appeared and dragged the Kabras away.

- - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - -

Nellie Gomez sat down and plugged in her ear phones. A soft lullaby started to play.

"What?" Nellie murmured and tried to switch to her songs. It was stuck on the lullaby. Soon, Nellie's eyes were drooping and she fell asleep.

The lady walked in to the room and smiled.

- - - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - -

The lady walked up to Mr. Holt.

"Who are you?" he barked.

"I need to 'borrow' Hamilton, Reagan and Madison." she answered.

"Why?!"

"It'll help store honor to the Holt name."

"TEAM!"

The Holt kids jogged up to their father.

"SIR YES SIR?" they screamed.

"This lady here needs your help with something." Eisenhower said.

"For what?" Reagan asked.

"To restore honor to our name now MOVE IT!" Eisenhower barked and jogged away. Mary-Todd followed him.

"Put these on." the woman answered and held out blind folds.

"Why?" Hamilton asked.

"Because." she shrugged and the kids put on the blind folds.

- - - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - -

The Starling's were hunched over talking about the clue.

"We need to follow the path of Benjamin Franklin." Sinead said.

Something dropped and the Starling's stood back. A lollipop. But it was producing smoke.

"Good night Starling's." a person with a gas mask said. The Starling's collapsed in a heap and the lady smiled evilly.

- - - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - -

Two men stood over Alistair Oh.

"What do you want?" Alistair asked.

The two men looked at each other then shrugged. One of them took out a small vial.

"Drink this." one said. He handed Alistair the vile with a clear liquid inside. Alistair studied the vile and grimaced.

"You're a Lucian, aren't you?" he asked.

"No. I just like poison." one said.

"No you don't, you like tacos." the other one replied.

"STOP IT WITH THE TACO ADDICTION! Jeez, a guy buys 30 tacos and eats them all..." he shook his head.

"Do I have to drink this?" Alistair asked.

"Yes." both of them answered. Alistair sighed and uncorked the bottle. He raised it to his lips and gulped it all down. Alistair shivered then passed out.

- - - - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - - -

"Yo, where are we going?" Jonah asked the driver then looked around. "_Where's my Dad, dawg?_"

"Busy." the driver answered and handed Jonah a blind fold. "I didn't want to poison you since I'm like a HUGE fan so I though blind folding you would work."

The driver handed Jonah Wizard and golden blind fold and Jonah frowned. Whatever this person want, they meant business so Jonah obeyed and put on the blind fold.

- - - - - - - - - - - :D :P - - - - - - - - - -

The two children approached the man in black.

"Fiske Cahill? Madrigal Branch?" one of the kids asked. Fiske turned around and frowned.

"DId they send for me?" he asked.

"No, Agent Cobra did." they answered. Fiske frowned even more.

"What is she doing now?"

"Just come with us, Man in Black." one of them smirked the last part and lead Fiske into the waiting helicopter.

**:P**

**REview! I hoped you liked this first part. Reading chapter is next I guess.**

**I have all the books and free time so I plan on doing the whole series, Vespers, and maybe the Buried Book of Black Secrets.**

**REviews makes me happy and inspiration to write. Flames I will use to burn bad Vespers.**

**-TLM signed off.**


	2. Chapter 2

**:P **

**Disclaimer;**

**Me: Da- Natalie?**

**Dan: You were just about to call me!**

**Me: Natalie**

**Natalie: Let the peasant do it.**

**Dan: HEY!**

**Me: Natalie, do it. Dan's doing it next time.**

**Dan: YAY! -runs away-**

**Natalie: I will not do a peasants job.**

**Me: I'll give you... 1,000,000 dollars and 1,000,000 pounds?**

**Natalie: I'm rich enough.**

**Me: -slap- DO IT OR ELSE!**

**Natalie: If it'll make you happy. TheLucianMastermind doesn't the 39Clues or the absolutely gorgeous me. -slaps-**

**Me: Hurtful!**

Everyone who was knocked out by something began to stir. The people who were blind folded were sitting as still as possible, sensing trouble.

All the Cahills were in a huge room. Only, there wasn't anything in there. There weren't any doors or furniture. No windows either. The walls were a bright yellow, bloody red, lime green and a dark-ish, light-ish blue. The floors were carpeted black and hung on the red wall was a huge screen. Under the screen was an empty book shelf.

Amy and Dan were first to wake.

"You can take off your blind folds." a voice announced and eagerly, the Holts, Fiske and Jonah took off their blind folds.

"Yo, where am I?" Jonah asked as Ian and Natalie were the next to wake up.

"What am I doing here!?" Natalie demanded to know and stood up. She refused to sit on the floor like peasants. Ian stood up too.

"We've been gathered here." Fiske said, no one knowing who he was.

"W-Who a-are you?" Amy stuttered.

"I swear if you say anything I'll personally embarrass you to death." the voice said. Fiske kept his mouth shut.

"We've been kidnapped by NINJAS!" Dan gasped.

"Dweeb." Amy muttered. The Starling's were the next to wake, followed by Alistair. Lastly, Nellie woke up.

"So, I see all of you are awake." the voice said. The Starling's were looking at their surroundings.

"What do you want?" Reagan asked.

"I want to spoil-"

"DON'T SPOIL HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA!" Dan shouted.

"Everyone hates spoilers, dawg..." Jonah said.

"Exactly. Besides, I'm keeping you safe from the hunt. Now, as I was saying, I want to spoil the Hunt for you. Like the dangers, clues, love... I'm looking at Kabra and Cahill. Also, embarrassments." the person continued. The screen slowly lit up and there, on the screen were Natalie and Ian Kabra.

"That's not me!" Ian yelled.

"Is the voice thingy working yet?" Not-Ian asked Not-Natalie in a silky British accent.

"Duh?" Not-Natalie shook her head. Not-Ian grinned at the screen.

"Hullo, you're here to read a book series-"

"Noooo!" Dan moaned, Amy on the other hand was smiling a little bit.

"- called the 39Clues." Not-Ian continued. "We'll be your host, our boss is Agent Cobra-"

"THE COBRAS ARE BEHIND THIS?!" Dan yelled.

"Shut up!" Not-Natalie exclaimed.

"No... Ok that's it. Your first book to read is the Maze of Bones by Rick Riordan."

"Hey! One of my Janus homies!" Jonah said.

Ian and Natalie weren't looking pleased because they were being impersonated. Not-Ian pressed a button and a blue book appeared on the bookshelf. Sinead, the closet, took the book and examined the cover. Everybody crowded around her to get a good look.

The book was decorated with skulls on the front. Sinead flipped the book and read the back.

**A Million Dollars...**

**Or A Clue?**

**What would happen if you discovered that your family was one of the most powerful in human history? What if you were told that the source of the family's power was hidden around the world in the form of 39 Clues? What if**

**you were given a choice- take a million dollars and walk away... or get the first Clue? If you're Amy and Dan**

"So we're reading a book about these peasants?" Natalie said in disgust.

"If all of us are here, we'll be mentioned." Ned said.

"Then how come we aren't in the back yo?" Jonah asked.

Ned and Ted shrugged.

**, you take the Clue- and begin a very dangerous race.**

"Yeah." Dan mumbled. "We just started and there's already a fire we have to escape."

"The Clue Hunt is very deadly." Alistair said.

"Well," Not-Natalie said. "Begin."

Sinead opened the first page and opened her mouth.

"WAIT!" Not-Ian shouted.

"What?" Ian asked.

"I've always wanted to hear you say this! I'm a yellow banana that eat's unicorns!" Not-Ian grinned then frowned.

Everybody was either laughing or smiling, that had sounded weird coming out from Ian Kabras mouth. Real Ian was just fuming.

"No I don't!" he protested.

"You just said it." Not-Ian said and leaned back in his chair.

"Maybe you should begin." Fiske told Sinead.

"Who are you?"

"DON'T TELL THEM!" NOt-Natalie screamed and waved her hand. "Proceed."

"Why am I here! I'm not even a Cahill." Nellie exclaimed.

"You are important and yeah..." Not-Natalie trailed off.

"I'll just start reading now." Sinead said.

**Five minutes before she died, Grace Cahill changed her will.**

Amy started tearing up. It seemed like she lost Grace all over again.

"Some way to start a story." Madison snorted.

**Her lawyer brought out the alternate version, which had been her most guarded secret for seven years. Whether or not she would actually be crazy enough to use it,**

"She was crazy enough." Dan muttered.

"Ahem." Sinead cleared her throat.

**William McIntyre had never been certain.**

**"Madam," he asked,**

Everybody snickered when Sinead read this. She tried reading it in McIntyre's voice.

"What?" she demanded.

"You don't need to read like that." Ted said.

"She was just trying to make it better." Amy muttered.

**"are you sure?"**

**Grace gazed out the window, across the sunlit meadows of her estate. Her cat, Saladin, snuggled beside her as he had throughout her illness, but his presence was not enough to comfort her today.**

"Where is Saladin?" Dan pouted.

"Mrrrp..." Saladin strode into the room. The blue wall slid shut before anyone can observe the door that had opened.

"I feel trapped." Nellie said.

"Of course." Natalie rolled her eyes.

**She was about to set in motion events that might cause the end of civilization.**

"Dramatic much?" Reagan said.

Everybody nodded in agreement.

**"Yes, William." Her every breath was painful.**

Amy looked concerned.

**"I'm sure."**

**William broke the seal on the brown leather folder. He was a tall craggy man. His nose was pointed like a sundial so it always cast a shadow over one side of his face. HE had been Grace's adviser, her closet confidant, for half her life. They'd shared many secrets over the years, but none as perilous as this.**

**He held the document for her to review. A fit of coughing wracked her body.**

Amy looked even more concerned.

"I don't like the beginning." Amy thought.

**Saladin meowed with concern.**

"Saladin's a good cat." Dan smiled and stroke Saladin.

"Mrrp." Saladin purred. (That's right.)

**Once the coughing passed, William helped her take the pen. She scrawled her weak signature across the paper.**

**"They're so young," William lamented. "If only their parents-"**

**"But their parents didn't." Grace said bitterly. "And now the children must be old enough. They are our only chance."**

**"If they don't suceed-"**

**"Then five hundred years of work have been for nothing." Grace said. "Everything collapses. The family, the world - all of it."**

"The fate of the world on the _peasants_ shoulder?" Natalie frowned.

"I'm just awesome like that." Dan stuck his tongue out.

"I'm still here." Amy said, trying not to let her voice crack.

**William nodded grimly. He took the folder from her hands.**

**Grace sat back, stroking Saladin's silver fur. The scene outside the window made her sad. It was too gorgeous a day to die.**

"It is indeed." Alistair said grimly.

"But it's better then a cold, wet day." Hamilton said.

**She wanted to have one last picnic with the children.**

Dan smiled. She did care about them still.

**She wanted to be young and strong and travel the world again.**

**But her eyesight was failing. Her lungs labored. She clutched her jade necklace - a good-luck talisman she'd found in China years ago.**

Amy opened Grace's jewelry box and took out Grace's necklace.

"You need help putting that on kiddo?" Nellie asked.

"I-I guess." Amy whispered and Nellie put the jade necklace on. Amy reached up and touched it.

**It had seen her through many close calls with death, many lucky misses. But the talisman couldn't help her anymore.**

**She'd worked hard to prepare for this day. Still, there was sp much she's left undone... so much she had never told the children.**

Amy let the tears spill from her eyes. Everybody was silent.

**"It will have to be enough." she whispered.**

**And with that, Grace Cahill closed her eyes for the last time.**

"That was sad." Reagan said.

"Let's have a moment of silence for her." Alistair said. Everybody bent their heads and let the silence fill the room.

"Rest in peace, Grace." Amy whispered.

"Page break." Sinead announced.

"What's that?" Hamilton asked.

"It's when the point of view changes or a time lapse." Amy explained.

"Oh..."

**When he was sure Grace had passed away, William McIntyre went to the window and closed the curtains. William preferred darkness. It seemed more proper for the business at hand.**

**The door opened behind him. Grace's cat hissed and disappeared under the bed.**

Fiske Cahill shifted his position on the floor.

**William didn't look back. He was staring at Grace Cahill's signature on her new will, which had just become the most important document in the Cahill family's history.**

**"Well?" a brusque voice said.**

**William turned. A man stood in the doorway, his face obscured by shadows, his suit black as oil.**

Everybody turned to look at Fiske Cahill. At that moment his face was hidden in the shadows, his suit was also black as oil.

"Don't. Tell. Them. Anything." Not-Natalie said.

"I thought you wanted to spoil this for us." Natalie said.

"Ok, he's the man in black." Not-Ian said.

"We don't even know who that is yet." Madison said.

Not-Ian shrugged. "He's important though."

**"It's time," William said. "Make sure they suspect nothing."**

**William couldn't tell for sure, but he thought the man in black smiled.**

**"Don't worry," the man promised. "They'll never have a clue."**

"Haha. Very funny." Ian laughed sarcastically.

"That's the end of the chapter." Sinead said and looked at the next chapter. "Do you want to read next Dan? It's in your perspective next."

"Sure." Dan shrugged and he took the book from Sinead.

"So, how do you like it so far?" Not-Ian asked.

"Would you stop being me?" Ian asked, annoyed.

"Are we doing a person per chapter?" Not-Ian asked Not-Natalie.

"I guess." she answered and the screen blurred for a moment. The screen cleared and it was Amy and Dan now.

"I'M THE AWESOME NINJA LORD! BOW DOWN TO ME!" Not-Dan yelled.

"NO! I'M THE REAL NINJA LORD! BOW DOWN TO _ME_!" Dan yelled and jumped up.

"Dweeb." both Amy's muttered.

**I hope you guys liked it!**

**Question of the chapter;**

**Who is this song from and what's it called?**

_**Cause I'm sick of it all. Sick of it all.**_

_**We will NOOOT follow...**_

_**Sick of it all, Sick of it all.**_

_**They don't understand how**_

_**Sick we are, Sick we are**_

_**Of this BOOOOTOMLESS **_

_**Pit.**_

_**Of.**_

_**Lies.**_

_**Behind close eyes? - This song just reminds me of Amy and Ian.**_

**Agent Get Amy and Ian Together- Thanks! Ok so I guess there could be some AmIan in here. Remember the little red book? And, the girl on the screen is a total Amian freak. She will do something all fan girly.**

**The Gone Angel- I'm so sorry! I didn't mean offense to the Holt's or anybody. I just wanted to get the people to the base. Sorry! -hands gift basket- Will this make you feel better? I'm not a very good writer yet. But I guess I could take a thanks from your comment, OOCness from the Holts and Lucian too?**

**- TLM signed off.**


	3. Chapter 3

** I've decided to do all my author's note at the end.**

**Disclaimer;**

**Me: Like I promised, Get out here-**

**Dan: I'm here!**

**Me: Amy.**

**Dan: NO FAIR! **

**Me: Just kidding! Ninja Lord! Do it.**

**Dan: Vesper One doesn't own anything. Hey, wait a minute-**

**Me: :P Thanks, Ninja Lord. -bows-**

The Cahills sat in a circle on the black floor.

"Can't we sit in chairs?" Natalie said.

"I ran out of money for the paints and carpet." Not-Amy said.

"I-"

"You haven't used any yet!"

"Oh yeah..." Not-Dan trailed off. "We'll get chairs when you read the next chapter."

"Why not now?" Ian asked.

"Because." Not-Dan said. "Now, Dan, read."

**Dan Cahill thought he had the most annoying big sister on the planet.**

"I love you too Dan." Amy crossed her arms.

"But it's true..." Dan mumbled.

**And that was _before _she set fire to two million dollars.**

**It all started when they went to their grandmother's funeral. Secretly, Dan was excited, because he was hoping to make a rubbing of the tombstone after everyone else was gone.**

"Really?" Jonah asked.

"That is kinda weird..." Reagan said.

"I wanted for my collection." Dan protested.

"You have a collection of tombstone rubbings?" Natalie shook her head.

**He figured Grace wouldn't care. She'd been a cool grandmother.**

**Dan loved collecting things. He collected baseball cards, autographs of famous outlaws, Civil war weapons, rare coins, and every cast he'd eve had since kindergarten (all twelve of them). **

"You broke 12 bones?" Sinead said.

"What did you do?" Hamilton asked.

"Daniel _is _a barbarian, breaking 12 bones." Natalie said.

"It's Dan." Dan scolded then continued.

**At the moment, what he liked collecting best were charcoal rubbings of tombstones. He had some awesome ones back at the apartment. His favorite read; **

**PRUELLA GOODE**

**1891-1929**

**I'M DEAD. LET'S HAVE A PARTY.**

Everybody snickered at the tombstone. Not like, that's just weird but like, that's-a-cool-tombstone-reading-thing.

"I want to have something like that when I'm dead." Not-Dan said.

"That's why it's my favorite." Dan said.

**He figured if he had a rubbing of Grace's tombstone in his collection, maybe it wouldn't feel quite so much like she was gone forever.**

**Anyway, the whole way from Boston to the funeral in Bristol, his great-aunt Beatrice was driving like a very slow lunatic. She went twenty-five miles an hour on the highway and kept drifting across lanes so the other cars honked and swerved and ran into guardrails and stuff.**

"Ouch." Hamilton said.

"She's just horrible." Amy said.

**Aunt Beatrice just kept clutching the wheel with jeweled fingers.**

"Probably fake." Natalie stuck her nose up.

"They are." Amy said. "Fake diamonds that she payed a hundred for."

"Hey, did Giles move the cow out of the road?" Not-Dan asked.

"How do you know about that?" Ian asked.

"I got my ways..." Not-Dan smirked and turned towards Not-Amy. "Thumb war!" (random Not-Dan)

"You're on!" Not-Amy agreed and they began to thumb war. Not-Dan fell out of his chair, causing everyone to laugh.

"Go Dan!" Dan cheered.

"Amy! Amy!" Sinead and Amy chanted.

"Continue." Natalie said, clearly not understanding why this was such a big deal. It was just a game, only played by peasants.

"Fine." Dan grumbled while everybody quieted down to listen.

**Her wrinkly face was made up with Day-Glo red lipstick and rouge, which made her blue hair look even bluer.**

"That's just horrid!" Natalie exclaimed.

"I'm going to have nightmares about old clowns now!" Reagan protested.

**Dan wondered if she gave other drivers nightmares about old clowns.**

"See!" Reagan shouted.

"She probably does." Ned said.

**"Amy!" she snapped, as another SUV careened down the exit ramp because Beatrice had just pulled in front of it.**

"Doesn't she even care about the other people's health?" Sinead said, shaking her head.

"..."

**"Stop reading in the car! It's not safe!"**

"How is reading in the car, while you aren't driving, not _safe_?" Madison asked.

"I don't know either." Amy answered.

"HAHA! SUCCESS!" Not-Dan yelled and shoved his thumb into the camera. "This thumb is the CHAMP!"

"Ok. Then why don't you face Hamilton?" Not-Amy retorted.

"You know what? I'm good." Not-Dan muttered. Hamilton grinned. Not-Dan just didn't want his thumb to be badly injured or broken.

**"But, Aunt Beatrice-"**

**"Young lady, close that book!"**

**Amy did, which was typical. She never put up with fight with adults. Amy had long reddish-brown hair, unlike Dan's, which was dark blonde. This helped Dan pretend his sister was an alien imposter,**

"Dweeb." Amy scoffed.

"Really? An alien?" Natalie just shook her head.

"Well I called _you_ one!" Dan said.

"You mean _we_." Not-Dan raised an eyebrow.

"No. There can only be one Dan. He is just awesome like that." Not-Amy said.

**but unfortunately they had the same eyes - green like jade, their grandmother used to say.**

**Amy was three years older and six inches taller than Dan, and she never let him forget it - like being fourteen was such a big deal.**

Amy smiled. "It's a big deal being older than you."

Dan rolled his eyes.

**Usually, she wore jeans and some old T-shirt because she didn't like people noticing her, but today she was wearing a black dress so she looked like a vampire's bride.**

"Noticed by who? A certain Kabra..." Not-Amy trailed off. Amy turned pink.

"N-N-No!" she stuttered and then slumped lower on the wall.

"Don't worry. After the hunt he likes you too." Not-Amy gave Amy a reassured smile. Everybody turned to look at Ian.

"I do not!" Ian said.

"I said in the future, you Brit." Not-Amy stuck her tongue out.

"Ew!" Dan exclaimed and continued, he didn't want to hear how this conversation would end.

**Dan hoped her outfit was as uncomfortable as his stupid suit and tie.**

"It was..." Amy murmured.

**Aunt Beatrice had thrown a fit when he tried to go to the funeral in his ninja clothes.**

Everybody but the Dan's, rolled their eyes.

"Such bad taste..."

"Ninja clothes?"

"It's better than a suit and tie!" Dan protested.

"Well, the Kabras practically live in suit and ties." Not-Dan said.

"I wear dresses, not suits." Natalie said.

"Fine." Not-Dan huffed. "The Kabras practically live in suits, ties, dresses and Prada!"

"Much, much better." Natalie said.

**It wasn't as if Grace would care if he was comfortable and deadly, the way he felt when he pretended to be a ninja, but of course Aunt Beatrice didn't understand. Sometimes it was hard for him to believe she and Grace were sisters.**

**"Remind me to fire your au-pair as soon as we return to Boston." Beatrice grumbled. "You two have been entirely too spoiled."**

"Uh, nu-uh." Nellie scoffed. "I can't believe she wanted to fire me!"

"Well, at least you didn't get fired." Amy said.

Alistair was squirming on the floor for some reason. But nobody really noticed. Hmm...?

**"Nellie's nice!" Dan protested.**

"Thanks kiddo." Nellie ruffled Dan's hair.

**"Hmph! This _Nellie _almost let you burn down the neighbor's apartment building!"**

**"Exactly!"**

"Really? You almost let them burn a building down?" Fiske asked.

"Maaaaaaybe..." Nellie muttered. "I didn't know!"

**Every couple of weeks, Beatrice fired their au-pair and hired a new one.**

"When are we mentioned in the story?" Natalie asked suddenly.

"Soon, Natalie. Soon. I LOVE FUDGESICALS!" Not-Dan yelled.

"Oooookaaaaay... Warning, he will do that to all characters." Not-Amy muttered.

**The only good thing was that Aunt Beatrice didn't live with them personally. She lived across town in a building that didn't allow kids, so sometimes it took her a few days ti hear about Dan's latest exploits.**

**Nellie had lasted longer than most.**

"Cause I'm awesome like that." Nellie grinned.

**Dan liked her because she made amazing waffles and she usually cranked her iPod to brain-damage level.**

"Where _is_ my iPod..." Nellie murmured noticing her iPod was missing. She began to panick. Alistair finally decided to stand up and surprise, surprise, he was sitting on Nellie's iPod.

"Joseph!" Nellie cried out and swiped it from the floor.

"You named your IPod Joseph?" Madison asked.

"Maaaybe..."

**She didn't even hear when Dan's bottle rocket collection went off and strafed the building across the ally.**

"You did _what_?" Nellie exclaimed.

"Um, nothing..." Dan said.

**Dan would miss Nellie when she got fired.**

"Thanks. You do care about me." Nellie smiled.

**Aunt Beatrice kept driving and muttering about spoiled children. Amy secretly went back to her huge book. The last two days, since they got the news about Grace's death, Amy had been reading even more than usual. Dan knew it was her way of hiding, but he kind of resented it because it of shut him out, too. **

**"What are you reading this time?" he asked. "_Medieval European Doorknobs? Bath Towels Throughout the Ages?_"**

"So mature Daniel." Natalie rolled her eyes while some people chuckled.

**Amy gave him an ugly face - or an uglier-than-usual face.**

Amy rolled her eyes and hit Dan in his arm.

"Hey! Who said this book would tell people precious secrets... Like mine!" Dan protested.

"Oh, you will read the series. All of it because you're in the past, it will spoil somethings for you. Like certain feelings for some people, Clues" Everybody's eyes widened and those who weren't paying attention, were paying attention now. "And how people are really. Let's do... Isabel for a second." Ian and Natalie slightly cringed, and Alistair thought for a moment. "She's just plain evil. Oh! And there will be death's!" Not-Amy said cheerfully, after her explanation.

"These books will go into the depths of your minds..." Not-Dan added in a creepy voice.

Silence.

"What's with the shocked silence?" Nellie broke the awkward silence, still a bit fazed (hence her secret).

"Get on with the book." Ian said, second to recover.

**"None of your business dweeb."**

**"You can't call the ninja lord _dweeb_. You have disgraced the family. You must commit seppuku."**

Amy rolled her eyes. It still sounded dweeb-ish even after the second time.

**Amy rolled her eyes.**

"Wow, creepy..." Madison muttered.

"Amy is just being Amy." Not-Amy said.

"Is that a compliment?"

"That depends, if being Amy is considered awesome. Which to my opinion is."

"Nah, Dan is the best. He's the freaking Ninja Lord! Then Ian for his evilness and Hamilton for-"

"You're just listing boys." Sinead interrupted Not-Dan.

"Because I list people by boy and girl. See, Amy is my first favorite then Natalie, then Nellie-"

"You're saying the rich brat is better than me?" Nellie crossed her arms.

"STOP INTERRUPTING ME!" Not-Dan shouted and motioned Dan to continue. "This conversation has ended."

**After a few more miles, the city melted into farmland. It started to look like Grace country, and even though Dan had promised himself he wouldn't get sappy, he began to feel sad. Grace had been the coolest ever.**

"You shouldn't have said 'had'. It'll make you even more sad." Ned said.

"Thanks for the advice Ted." Dan grumbled.

"I'm NED! Ted is on the other side of Sinead." Ned said.

"It's your fault for being so alike!" Dan protested.

"you don't get Sinead mixed up with them and she's their triplet." Not-Dan said.

"But she's a girl... Big difference." Dan muttered. Not-Amy shot Not-Dan a glance for being an idiot.

**She's treated him and Amy like real people, not kids. That's why she'd insisted they simply call her Grace, not Grandmother or Gran or Nana or any silly name like that.**

"We have to call our grandma Nana." Reagan said.

"Is she nice?" Amy asked.

"No." Hamilton said.

"She is really scary." Madison said.

**She'd been one of the only people who'd ever cared about them. Now she was dead, and they had to go to the funeral and see a bunch of relatives who had _never _been nice to them...**

"I thought you would be more of a loving family." Not-Amy said.

"Their Cahills. You know, do whatever it takes to get the Clues Cahills. Arch enemies are the Vespers who have NO hearts at all." Not-Dan said. "You expect them to be normal."

"How do you know about the Vespers?" Fiske asked.

"Ah, a whole another series away. You know, maybe we should've got the Cahills in the present, that way Natalie and Ian see each other, Phoenix isn't "dead"-"

"Wait what?" Jonah said.

"Nevermind." Not-Amy sighed and leaned back in her chair.

"Oh, there's a page break." Dan announced.

"Let's stop here. It's been quite awhile." Alistair said.

"Yeah. And I'm hungry." Hamilton said.

"Blub blub blub, everyone HAS to be hungry now, don't they?" Not-Dan sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Ok, then. Let's get you settles into your new homes!" Not-Amy said.

"Wait, _permanent _homes?"

"No."

"Oh, ok."

_**I felt like I haven't updated in a long time so I stop here at this page break. (Also this chapter was long but heeeey... You understand right?) Sorry for OOCness and so, I'm just gonna say this now since Not-blahblahblah is getting old. The girl is Ashley and the boy is Alec. Why aren't they eating? Because they will eat in the next chapter.**_

_**Everyone: Aww...**_

_**That's right, I'm evil. I'M MAKING YOU STARVE! MWAHAHAHA!**_

_**Again now, sorry for OOCness, updation, (Yes, probably not a real word. Definition, the process of updating) and other things that you probably don't like but I don't know what it is.**_

_**If you think there should be more reading then side conversation (I find these quite long) say so.**_

_**Question: How are these related?**_

_**- Safety**_

_**- Fire Agate**_

_**- The Netherlands**_

_**- Known to simulate activity, appetite, and socialization**_

_**- Native Americans associated this with kinship**_

_**Also, yes, I changed me's pen name from TheLucianMastermind to Vesper One.**_

_**~ Vesper One**_


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